... And This Is Your Brain On Tarr
Dazed and Confused

Matthew McConaughey said in a recent interview that the his favorite book was “The Picture of Dorian Gray” he commented saying, “That’s what I love about Dorian Gray his painting gets older, he stays the same age”.

Touchably Soft Hair

Many of us have seen the commercials where the amazing shampoo rejuvenates your hair and makes it touchably soft. What does that mean? Why wouldn’t you be able to touch your hair regardless? If you’re having that problem you need a prescription because thats not going away with soap, my friend. What they should make is a shampoo that makes your hair untouchably soft that would be way cooler, like a force field around your head. Noogies would be a thing of the past, that’s the world I want to live in. 

Sentient Gas

Today I was pumping gas, a typically regular occurrence and needless to say a trite task. However, this time my greatest fear was realized (this is actually not my greatest fear it’s just poetic license), but we’ll get to that in due time. I pull up to the pump and swipe my card and all that nonsense. Bored and cold I look down at the read out display and find that Shell is running a little ad on the screen. This seemed weird to me because I already bought the gas and it would seem I should not be their target but I was, I suppose I’ll take it as a compliment. Anyway, I was reading the screen, the ad was about five sentences long; in an effort to save space they only showed about 6 words at a time. This means there would be breaks in the sentences that would render that portion a bit inane. It started out as saying “Shell has made a great product” which was fine, no problems there. Then it said “even better (and some other stuff I can’t remember)” I was proud of shell in that moment because the first statement made sense isolated and then when they added the second part it still made sense. Kudos on your victory, Shell. However the next screen horrified me, it read “… it seeks out and destroys your engine”. Holy crap! That would be a warning you should get to right away; tell me that before I buy the gas not during. And why would you tell me your product was so great when it does the exact opposite of which it is intended? In that moment I was actually worried. I didn’t know whether to stop pumping or keep going. Luckily I didn’t have to make a decision because shortly the next screen popped up. It read “gunk and build-up” O thank god, its only going to destroy my engine gunk. I had never been so relieved. 

Does this microphone look like I’m talking into a robot penis?

Does this microphone look like I’m talking into a robot penis?